I can’t actually remember the last time I felt this good. Today has been a good day.
Today was the first day back at nursery for the boys after half term. We’ve had a great half term, at times it was trying because it was a stark reminder of how I can’t physically give the boys what they need day to day on my own, and that is why they go to nursery, because they get something that I can’t give them on my own but at times it was absolutely wonderful to see the boys growing up, watching them playing nicely together, watching Rory accept his brothers interaction more and more, and watching them both come into their own.
We did lots of playing at the park, either with Auntie Vicky & Erin who came to give us 30 minutes ‘extra pair of hands’ to get out, or on our own when we braved it with the double trike for a local walk, feeding the ducks and a park trip with one always in the swing to avoid the standard ‘legging it in opposite directions’.
We had a play date with Lexa, lots of Facetime with Lucy & Frankie and lots of activities in the car; washing the car, lunch in the car, shopping at the petrol stations so we can stay in the car. Just doing what we need to do to get by.
Daddy took Thursday and Friday off work and we made a last minute trip to Blackpool which was lovely. We will blog all about that later.
Super Claire looked after us so that Mummy & Daddy could have a morning off, a breakfast date and watching the Rugby World Cup Final in the pub. She stayed a bit longer and came with us for our hair cutting too. We absolutely loved spending time with her.
I always set goals for half term. I always want to ensure the time we spend together helps A&R to make those next steps because they do need that bit extra to get by. Sometimes I feels deflated by the end of the holiday because we haven’t achieved anything near what I had hoped, and often I fail to feel accomplished in that I have just survived a very difficult week or even more, looking after the boys on my own, often stuck in, climbing the walls, getting by. That in itself is a tough gig, but to actually achieve something more is a big ask.
This time, it was to keep Rory interacting and not let him creep back into himself which often happens when he is stuck at home and not in nursery every day, and for Rory wean Rory back into his school shoes. He wore wellies for the whole of last half term, and wouldn’t tolerate his shoes, which are measured and fitted, and identical to the ones he had last year, just a bigger size, and the constant wellie wearing has made him flat footed. We worried about a change in his tendons and planned to increase the time he could tolerate his shoes over time with the hope of him returning to nursery in shoes. And third, was for Austin to return to nursery wearing pants, and being toilet trained.
I feel absolutely liberated to tell you that in that week, I pushed my boundaries every day. I did something with the boys – every day. I ended up at the Doctors, on antbiotics with two seperate infections in my face and I was quite ill towards the end of the week but I kept going. Rory did creep into himself a little towards the middle of the week but he loved Blackpool and his relationship with Austin has developed both ways. It is not unusual to see them laughing together and playing alongside, sharing, taking turns and enjoying eye contact. It is so lovely to see.
Today, Rory went to nursery in his school shoes and wore them all day, by the end of the day, he ran out of nursery and through the playground, with his feet to the floor.
Today, Austin went to nursery in big boy pants and did so well taking himself to the toilet and washing his hands. He was so proud of himself.
Today, I feel like I am winning at life. For a change.