Summer 2019 – Day 12.

To the lady wandering around in circles on the field at the bottom of my road, sobbing down the phone to her friend, your friend is right – it’s going to be tough, but it won’t last forever and you will handle it, because you have no choice.

Yes – that was me. For the best part of an hour. Broken.

The whys, the hows, the who’s are probably not that important right now, but after 3 years of constantly being let down, fighting for Rory, advocating on Rory’s behalf and receiving second rate care, its no wonder that I eventually cracked. The frustration and anger at not being listened to, not being respected, not being considered a valid input to my sons care is nothing more than a phenominal error in the system. For now I know that I have to just shelve it and do what needs to be done for Rory, but in the long term, I’m not giving up on it. Something needs to change. It might not change in time for Rory to benefit, but we cannot continue to ‘care’ in a world where policies overrun common sense in doing the right thing for the child. The child today being my son, Rory.

I have given my entire soul, my being, my every inch of energy and unconditional love to my boys for 3 years and i’m not about to let my guard down just yet.

As a professional I have worked to policies and procedures and guidelines, my word I have written some of them myself, but I wouldn’t think twice about breaking every rule in the book to do the right thing by ANY child that I work with, how can you work with children if their needs are not the highest priority? It is even harder as a parent, having no control in being able to safeguard your own child against the policies and procedures that are supposed to be there to protect them in the first place. I could go on.

Anyway….unfortunately this was the ending to my day, however it is important not to oversee the wonderful afternoon we had with my Teacher friend Liz and her little people Joseph and Poppy. 

They came to visit all the way from Halifax. We played in the garden before the rain came and then in the playroom for the rest of the afternoon. almost 3 hours flew by and it was awesome. It has been over two years since we last saw them, Poppy wasn’t even born then, but it was such a lovely time.

We danced, we laughed. We enjoyed.

It was nice to see Rory making friends with Joseph and Austin been the lone ranger for once. I think Joseph enjoyed the calm of Rory as opposed to the chaotic clown that Austin can be with his volume.

We had snack boxes for lunch and Mummy bought liz flowers and a nice sandwich and cake from the deli. It was a nice treat, even if we were all sat on the floor in the playroom juggling the drama’s one by one whilst we ate it. We had crackers stuck to the bottom of our shoes and soft cheese rubbed into the carpet, but who cares.

I’m feeling really lucky today to have so many lovely friends around me, they are spread far and wide and some I don’t see all to often, but that doesn’t change the fact that they would each be there at the drop of a hat if I needed them.


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